Remember when I told you about Nichole’s mind? Well, she’s never had a filter. You know what a filter is, right? Filters out the bad, let’s the good flow on through. Some people refer to it as those little shoulder angels/devils. Other people call it your conscience. Anyway, Nickie doesn’t have one. If a thought pops into her head, it pops right out of her mouth! Example: One day, when I took her to Nationwide Children’s Hospital for her annual MRI, we were sitting in the waiting room. Now, I’ve always taught my children to be color-blind when it comes to racial differences. Nickie, however, doesn’t see racial differences as a bad thing, but more as a most fascinating thing. She’s never even called African-Americans “black” because Nichole is very literal. What she sees is exactly what they are. So, when we were sitting in a very crowded waiting room with many, many African-American families, I could’ve dropped into a puddle on the carpet when she looked around and stated very loudly, “Mom, there are an awful lot of brown people here today!”
Thank the Lord she amused the other families. But–for years, she referred to Amish people as “the Classics” as well. We live in Ohio and see an awful lot of Amish and Mennonites when we go out and about. I can’t explain her train of thought there, sorry.
So, over the years, when these little unfiltered thoughts popped into her head, I tried to keep a log of them. I will share them below. And just so you know all the players, “Eric” is my 2nd ex-husband. “Aubrey”, “Warren”, and “Nate” are his children.
(Darcie) Nickie left red toothpaste all over the sink! (Nickie) You forgot the blue toothpaste. I left a lot of that too!
(Eric) Nickie, you need to hurry up and eat so you can get dressed! (Nickie) Um, Eric…slow and steady wins the race.
(Nickie) You are kind of cute, Eric, but I don’t love you. You make me eat vegetables!
(Nickie) I have a rabid friend named Jesus. (Me) I thought his name was Rayman.
(Me) Why are you sleeping in the spare bed? It has no sheets or blanket! (Nickie) My bed isn’t as comfortable!
(Nickie playing LPS video game) I got a dalmation. (Darcie) gonna name him spot? (Nickie) No, I’m gonna name him Harold.
(Nickie still playing LPS video game) Isn’t he cute? He’s a lot like Weinie, except he doesn’t ween.
(Nickie) “Nickie” is dumb, I’m Nichole. (Me) How about Nick Jr (Nickie) No (Me) Nickelodeon? (Nickie) How about Fox 28 ? (Me) I like it!
(Nickie) Eric, why don’t you practice going away?
(Eric) What did you learn from watching The Santa Clause (Nickie) To Ignore a “Clatter”!
(Nickie) Christmas is all about being with your family and giving. Its also all about bribing.
(Nickie) Ohhh I get it! The drinks are to make the pee and the food is to make the poop!(uh…wow)
(Nickie) I need your help with this game (Cassie) maybe later! (Nickie) Then I will wait for your reply!
(Nickie – to a little boy) Are you a little boy? (boy) I’m not little. I’m 5! (Nickie) So you’re a lot of boy?
(Nickie) Rides at the fair don’t cost money! They just check to see how tall you are!
(Nickie) I’m going to hide in the bathroom so you can’t see what I’m doing. So you should probably just not open the door.
(Nickie) I’m not your best daughter anymore. I’m mad at you. Don’t talk to me.
(Nickie) I need some cereal so I’m not mad at you anymore. If you would move the bowls so I could reach them, I could just stay mad!
(Nickie) Can I still play my gameboy? (me) No, you’re grounded from video games (Nickie) Gameboys aren’t video games. They don’t live on the tv!
(Cassie) I’m full, may I be excused? (Me) No, u have to eat your veggies! (Nickie) I’m fat now, Mom….can I be excused?
(Nickie – trying to crack a password on LPS wii) “I’ll figure it out…” (then types E-n-t-e-r P-a-s….)”
(Me) whatcha singing? (Nickie) just to myself (Me) how can i sing along then? (Nickie) you can’t, mom, it’s single-player, not multi-player
(Nickie) I had a butt situation but I just had to poop. (me) oh ok (Nickie) I kinda feel like I gotta pee now though, but maybe later.
(Nickie) Mom, can I stay up until 9:30? (Me) Sure (Nickie) Really? Awesome! (Me): Nick, it’s after 10, Go to bed! (Nickie): Hey! You cheated
(Nickie) Does everyone have white marker thoughts? Like on tv, when they’re thinking of something and you see a drawing above their head.
(Nickie) Mom, when I was a baby and lived in your belly it was a lot like watching tv with no picture. I couldn’t see a thing! (sometimes shes scary)
Nickie-ism of the Day: (brushing Nichole’s hair) “Ouch! Please brush gently henceforth!”
The rest of them I saved when they popped up on Timehop, so I’ll just share them as photos: